Mr.C's Theory on Woman

So as I have said before I work in Student Activities but what I havnt told you is what I do in the SAO. I sit at a desk and answer phones ( i know sometimes i cant hold down my excitment). However, I do love the people that work in the office with me. We are like a giant family and pretty much just sit around and talk. On Thursdays Im left all alone in the usually busy office with my friend Mr.C. We both usually sit in silence and do homework but on somedays he shares his theories on woman. And today i would love to share with you the one he told me last Thursday...

THEORY #1--"The larger a woman gets the louder she gets"
Now when he said this I of course was like thats not true. And he quickly said "well there are exceptions, but generally as a rule of tumb the larger, the louder"...then he continued to give me some examples to prove his point.

The sheer idea of this made me laugh out loud! Then for fun and cause I wanted to watch him squirm I asked him what category I fell into. With a quick look of panic he said "the VERY thin exception to the rule"

As Im telling this story it's continueing to make my day because Mr.C likes to think of himself as a "mans man", and when he told me he seemed like he had thought about this for a LONG time.
Then it struck me how much guys try to come up with some way to explain and understand how us Females work--

Anyone have any other theories by men that are completely off??